Venuswang：

This is my compostion:

Dear Mr. Kofi Annan, Nov.27th. 2004

I am a junior who admire you immensely. As a Chinese college student from Beijing Material Institute, I have been concerning much about the current situation of world peace for a long time.

Much to my regret, it still exists much confliction, terror as well as warfare through out the world. When I heard out or read international news as to gunfight or brutality, the most impressive and unforgettable scenes coming into my mind are a great deal of innocent expressions in helpless children’s eyes. I can’t imagine what is the true world would be like in their naive heart. As far as the children are concerned, they really want a happy and wonderful childhood without any wickedness. Therefore, I sincerely hope that everyone could live in a peaceful world rather than a horrible one in the foreseeable future.

We have only one world and anyone who eager for peace in this world advice that U.N. should make great efforts not only to pay more attention but also take effective matures to cope with this situation. Only in this way can we own a beautiful world which I am looking forward to all the time.

Yours Sincerely,

Venus

错误：

1.I have been concerning much about the current situation of world peace for a long time. / I have concerned about….

2.through out the world. / throughout the world.

3.When I heard out or read international news as to gunfight or brutality / When I heard out or read international news about gunfight or brutality

4.I can’t imagine what is the true world would be like in their naive heart. / I can’t imagine what the true world would be like in their naive heart.

5.anyone who eager for peace in this world advice that U.N. should make great efforts / anyone who is eager for …. advise…

写的很好！

好学英文网